Let Dead Dogs Lie

Honestly, you shouldn't go around touching dead animals, they could carry disease. Also, who wants to talk about something so depressing right before Christmas anyway?

But anyway, the holidays are one of those times where you have to be around people you may not like (surely not me) or want to be around just because you share their blood (note-sharing blood may also lead to disease) or through that really lame wedding your wife dragged you to last year with all those people you thought you wouldn't have to see again so you broke out your 'best' karaoke.

Eggnog notwithstanding, many do not enjoy this time of year. They dread having to be around that one person who said/asked/did something that offended them, and feelings are still hurt; and/or you're afraid they'll say/ask/do the same thing again. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes on accident: there's what's said, what was meant to be said, what you heard and the intent with which it was said/heard and how much box wine went into the hearing/saying.

We allow the event to play over and over in our head like a top 20 song on the radio. It begins to not only affect but consume us. We will allow this negative energy to damage our relationship with the offender, it will also impact our ability to make and manage other relationships also. It will become a major drag on our mental and emotional health along with a stumbling block to our success and well being.

Overtime, the emotional stress brought on by an offense (real or perceived) will begin to make physiological changes in our tissue. Stress hormones are catabolic, which means they destroy tissue. There will be a change in our muscle tone that will affect the function of our joints. Our body's ability to process oxygen and digest food will also change. These neuro-chemical and hormonal alterations will then lead to diseases from headaches to disc pain to cancer to heart disease.

Life is at best short - so why would we allow these thoughts to steal our precious time and drain our energy? It's time to start looking at letting go of the past. But the question is how?

Try this:

Press the PAUSE Button and Ask:

1. Is it something I can learn from to become a better person?

2. Is it something I can use to motivate me to act?

If the answer is yes, then do it and move on. If the answer is no, take the memory, write it down on a piece of paper and throw it out, light it on fire or be responsible and recycle it. Then it's over, it's done; it's forgotten. And you can move on with your life, move on with your relationship(s) and let dead dogs lie.